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EMI are to start court proceedings against 70's supergroup Queen. The move follows the record label's recent losses after releasing the new Queen album "Everyone can love to rule the world universal show must go on greatest hits". The album features the recorded sounds of the band mixed with the electronically simulated voice of their late lead vocalist Freddy Mercury. Despite terrible reviews the album has failed to get publicity on Radio One because Freddy did not attend an interview.

A spokesman for EMI said "This is all just media hype. There is nothing in Mr. Mercury's contract which allows him to simply go and die without prior notice. He is just being lazy."

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The recording company has also been accused by many of inferior sound quality due to of the electronic sampling used on the album. In the revolutionary remastering technique every CD cut is covered by a microscopic layer of ionised glue and then sprinkled with clippings from Freddie's moustache found in his bin, and then coated with a mild curry flavoured sauce. Coriander is then liberally applied, with a sprig of holly to garnish. Fans of the band have boycotted the record, claiming that is stinks of Garam Masala and sounds like it has been covered in glue and some dead guy's whiskers. fin


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