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The Mouse With No Nowse

Sources today revealed that a major international software house intends to launch a new range of PC peripherals, the first of which is due for release in the fall of next year.

Development is already well underway on a new cordless, buttonless mouse. An anonymous source at the company revealed the thinking behind the new design. “The problem with conventional mouse designs is that the user has too much control over the applications.

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Having over 75% of the current PC software market the comapany is concerned with the interaction of users and its applications. “The problems tend to occur when users attempt to interact with the software. Too often this is the cause of the majority of difficulties that the end user experiences. In turn this leads to a dramatic increase in calls to our support lines at considerable expense to the end user. It is hoped that the introduction of the new Un-Intelli Mouse96tm will help to reduce these problems. “It will help to make the user feel that they are interacting with our software, when in fact their interaction will be having no effect whatsoever” our source revealed. “Existing software is currently restricted by what the user wants it to do and not what the software actually does.”


The company has already released a test bed of the new software which employs the first of the new User Un-interactiontm drivers in to the market in anticipation of the release.

Unfortunately, due to foreseen technical delays with the release of the Un-Intelli Mouse96tm many end users have found themselves lumbered with usable software. This wasn't the company's intention when this marketing strategy was initially introduced, and could ultimately lead to huge losses in revenue through the loss of projected sales of service pack fixes for the existing software.

The company hopes to recover these costs once the market is swamped with the new technology by charging the same prices for software that has no need for a manual. In anticipation the company have already been releasing this new manual-less software which once interfaced with the new hardware will no longer need any user interaction. In the mean time though this has lead to quite a considerable amount of additional income for the company who have now discovered that they can charge ludicrous amounts for software support which is desperately needed by the users of the manual-less software who have no where else to turn for help and who have invested too much in the software to be able to seek an alternative.

The company is now seriously considering deliberately postponing the release of their new Un-Intelli Mouse96tm indefinately while the income from their support lines is at such a high. fin

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