Paula Yates yesterday announced that she was once again about to give birth, and did. Although the event was heralded by the music press as
just another publicity stunt, the birth went ahead as planned in the
public viewing gallery of the National Aviation Centre's
demonstration wind tunnel. The birth has been applauded by some as the
vital element needed to save the career of boyfriend Michael
Hutchence and his band INXS, after their new album "Sounds a
bit like Kick" bombed in the music charts, partly due to public
confusion between the latest album which sounded like "Kick", the
previous album which sounded like "Kick", the album before that which
sounded like "Kick" and the album before that, "Kick".
Speaking at the couple's joint press conference earlier today, Michael
Hutchence said that he had initially favoured naming the baby
"something classical like Ryvita or Ikea", but on hasty consultation
with lawyers settled for Paula's choice of Ffyona Fiffi Anabell
Daisychain Cornflake Flibberty-Gibberty LobsterCatcher BucketHead.
To further controversy, the golden-maned socialite has confirmed rumors that the baby is a lovechild, created out of a monster group sex session at friend Liam Gallagher's house. The baby has Paula's eyes, Liam's nose, Patsy Kensit's legs, David Bowie's arms, the chest of Posh Spice and the ears of a stray cat which happened to be passing. Experts are puzzled as to how Marianne Faithful has still not confessed to it in the third remake of her memoirs.
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