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British Telecom has announced huge enormous record profits from it's EchoCall division. EchoCall is an extension of CallBack, the answering machine company owned by BT. The service has been handling the sounds of over 310,000 echoes a day in enclosed locations since last September, when the Government privatised echoes in England and Wales.

Since privatisation, the reverb effect produced for 5 minutes of singing in a tiled bathroom has cost 2.47 on an average phone bill. BT claims the charges are justified against the initial expense of installing 3.5 million hidden loudspeakers covertly in household garages and large cupboards. Submarines, road tunnels and underground caves are funded separately in the "Dark Spooky Places" allocation


subsidised jointly by the Treasury and the X Files. An additional 1.2 million hidden speakers were secretly installed in household bathrooms whilst the public was visiting it's Aunty Margaret in Slough.

Smaller operators have been making inroads on BT's margins since November of last year, notably Mercury. The "EchoPersonal" service provided by the firm costs 20 pence per minute less than BT's and will soon offer a one-to-one service in optional dress code. Whilst singing "Girls just wanna have fun" in the bath, customers will have the option of being accompanied on the piano by a seven foot tall blue mountain gorilla. fin

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